Snow! (January 2010 Edition)

We don't get snow often. Last month we got a wet, useless, sorry excuse for snow. But Friday night and Saturday, it really snowed. We had 4 or 5 inches here with a nice crust of sleet on top. While it wasn't perfect for making snowmen, it has worked well for snowballs and our little improvised cardboard sled. We all took a walk. T threw lots of snowballs. Then he had his first(!) ever hot chocolate.
It has been an all-around good time. I didn't have to go to work today, our power never went out, and we've been out to play in the snow five times (with another pending this afternoon). This is what winter should feel like.

Snow Days from matt smith on Vimeo.

Zero and a half

Back on November 18 (which is after this blog was last updated--yikes!), Tobin turned three and a half, and since then he has been especially proud to tell people exactly how old he is. He often tells others that his brother is "zero" so I thought it might be cute if he, as of December 28, said Evan was "zero and a half." Apparently he is too smart and serious to indulge such silliness and prefers to just say Evan is six months old, thanks anyway Mama.

And at this point, our baby is nearly seven months old. We might later delve more deeply into certain moments of the last two months, but they have been a whirlwind of travel, family time and some illness. We spent Thanksgiving in Louisville, Christmas in Lake Charles (including a day trip to Houston) and New Year's back in Louisville. For most of our Christmas travels, the boys were sick with respiratory ailments. Tobin went on antibiotics twice, once for a croupy cough and most recently for an ear infection. This doubled the rounds of antibiotics he has had in his entire life--and ear infections, I think. Evan fared slightly better but suffered through about four weeks of a snotty, stuffy nose. Matt and I also got sick, but just with common colds. Knock on wood, we have enjoyed about a week of clearish noses and are so thankful. Really, we've been very healthy as a family with little kids, but traveling and sickness are a rather unpleasant combination.

On a more positive note, Evan has been undaunted by the stresses of the last two months and is thriving. Matt and I kind of joke that one day a couple of weeks ago, it just occurred to us that he could sit up. Now he sits up and plays for long stretches, grabbing anything in reach, preferably something he can bang against something else to make! some! noise! He also rocks (jiggles!) side to side when his toys play music, or when Tobin sings one of his originals. And he's started vocalizing with distinct, consistent consonant sounds. Often I hear him waking from a nap saying, "huh duh duh," which I imagine to be "Hey, Dada!" It's so much fun to watch him interact with his world these days.

Evan's eating solid foods about three times a day: rice cereal, bananas, apples, pears and sweet potatoes. It's been special to have him part of family meals. He usually eats lunch with Tobin and me and then sits down for dinner with all of us. He seems to particularly like the rice cereal-sweet potato mixture I've served him for supper the last week, opening his little mouth wide and sticking out his tongue expectantly.

It's pretty much impossible for me not to build up to releasing his latest stats. I mean he's simply huge. I can't help but giggle a little bit about it every time I pick him up or clean the rolls on his legs and arms during his bath. Evan is our very robust bundle of blessings. At six and a half months, he weighed 22 lbs. 12 oz. and measured 27.5" long with a 18" head circumference. His doctor is super pleased with how well he's doing. And so are we.

Overdue four-month stats

Hello out there. As Matt so articulately laid out in his last post: we are busy. Although we have indeed had an especially busy stretch with Halloween and friends visiting, Ashley and Donnie staying for a weekend to go to a UNC football game and, presently, Mimi being with us to love on the boys and help watch them while I attended a two-day CLE, every and any day feels full of activity. Feeding, bathing, playing, napping (the boys, not us!), cooking, laundering and so much loving. We wouldn't have it any other way, but I'll just tell you that come 9pm, you will find two very tired parents, usually headed to bed.

But I needed to at least take the time to give you Evan's four-month measurements. Perhaps word has gotten out through other channels, but we continue to have a little giant living among us. At four months and six days, he weighed 19 pounds 7 ounces! That's off the charts, plotted above 100th percentile on the pediatrician's growth chart. His weight is also remarkable in that it's almost two pounds bigger than his brother at four months, and Tobin was always an exceptionally large infant. His length (26.5 inches) and head circumference (17.5 inches) are pretty much the same as Tobin's at this age.

So Evan is growing splendidly, if not making our arms a little tired from time to time. By all other accounts, he is doing great physically, even avoiding catching our first family cold since his birth. The one exception is that he is having some minor digestive issues (I'll spare you the details as it involves talk of poop!), so we've been tinkering with my diet, trying to figure out if something I'm eating is the source.

Oh there is so much more I should write here, but I'll need to save that for another day, because while Matt is entertaining Evan, and Tobin and Mimi are out for a walk on this lovely fall day, I shall shower at a somewhat leisurely pace.

My Boys: A Post in Three Parts

Explanation: I haven't posted much here in the last few months. When I allow myself to worry about it, I fast forward years from now when the boys are reading our archives (if they do such a thing) and Evan notices that my blog post rate after his birth has been significantly slower than when Tobin was born. The pace of our household is significantly different with two boys than when it was just T. That isn't a complaint; it's the reality. Most of my summer was spent trying to occupy Tobin while Allison attended to Evan. T's curiosity borders on unquenchable, and it seemed at times like Allison and I were working exclusive full-time parenting jobs. I guess this is the struggle all parents have with second children. Unless we space them at 8-year intervals, their needs overlap--and their needs are vastly different. That said, Tobin is as gentle and loving a big brother as we could hope for. And Evan is a delight. His giggles and smiles have lit up our house. He also has outdone his brother in at least one department: whether its my skill or his generosity, I haven't been, ahem, "splashed" during diaper changes more than two or three times. Maybe it was the shock of T's regular changing-table surprises, but I felt like his mission was to keep me on my toes. Evan doesn't seem too concerned with such things.

Baby Boy: Evan is an observer. His eyes (huge) have been struggling to absorb the world since we brought him home. When he wakes up from naps, there is no such thing as heavy eyelids; he barely seems to have eyelids. His eyelashes project from little folds above and below the whites of his eyes. Even before his eyes adjusted and he began tracking movement, he seemed to take in everything, wide eyed and eager. There is nothing timid about his manner, though. When he is uncomfortable or upset, he lets us know more passionately (and loudly) than I remember Tobin ever doing. Their moments of birth foretold this aspect of their babyhoods: Tobin was born wide-eyed and quiet. Evan was born wide-eyed and yelling.

Evan has begun to laugh--that inexplicably infectious baby laugh that can carry a room with it. At least half a dozen times, Evan has begun to laugh, making Tobin and me laugh. Our laughter makes his redouble and it continues until we all ache a bit and leak from the eyes (or T overdoes it just a smidge with a hammering, affected laugh). Evan's coos and smiles create in me an awareness of the present and its immediacy that transcends everything else in my day, week, or mind. He has begun to reach out and grab, bat, push and pull with his hands--always with eyes wide open. I am awed by him and the gift that he is, even more so because I appreciate the preciousness of life at this point in my own life more than I ever have before. He adores his Mama. And he seems to think I'm pretty neat. But he saves his biggest wide-eyed, slack-jawed looks of engrossed wonder for his brother. Tobin sings songs to Evan and tells him stories; he kisses him and hugs him. Evan responds with giggles and a look of pure fascination the intensity of which I've never seen. If Mama hung the moon in his eyes, Tobin hung it, then broke it into a million sparkling, giggling shards of refracted amazingness. Which brings me to part three of my post.

Big Boy: Tobin is his own person. It's probably clearer to me because of Evan's dependence on Allison and me, but he is simply an amazing, increasingly independent boy. An example: He is steadfast in his refusal to adopt my favorite college basketball team as his own. A sample exchange usually goes like this:

Me: "I like Kentucky. Don't you like Kentucky, too? They're my favorite team."
Tobin: "No, I like North Carolina. They are my favorite. They will beat Kentucky."

He loves to play football and basketball, baseball and golf. He plays each in a goal-oriented way. He usually pronounces one of us the winner after a contest. When one of us hits a home run, both of us get to run around imaginary bases. Sunday, when we came in from hitting golf balls in the yard, he told Allison "Daddy had fifty-five and I had zero, so he won today. But I will win next time." He loves to tackle, and often uses that skill in sports and activities that don't traditionally feature running tackles.

But he has been into sports for a while. His newest and most amazing developments are in his storytelling, his mastery of numbers, and his fascination with letters and language. Last night at the dinner table, he told me a story that went like this:

"Once upon a time there were four acorns. There were three acorns ready to fall from their tree and one that was still a little green. The three brown acorns were named Mama, Daddy, and Tobin. The little green acorn was named Evan. He was green because he needed to stay in the tree so he could eat and grow more."

Tonight when we were spelling words on the fridge (more on that in a bit), he left the letters "G-O-L-F C-A-T" up (after we had spelled "golf cart"). I asked him what it said and he said "Golf cat." I asked him what that was and he responded with a lilt of concern at my inability to grasp the idea: "A Golf Cat is a cat that plays golf. I saw one one time at the golf course. You should not go near them because they bite." I asked if they always bite and he said only when they are playing golf. When I asked if they played with little clubs, he replied patiently "No, they play with medium clubs because they are medium cats. Little clubs are too small for them."

This kind of storytelling springs from words Tobin can spell. He can identify and spell more than a dozen words. He also understands letter combinations and how compound words work. Tonight, we were using his magnetic letters on the fridge to spell words. One of the words he can spell out with his magnets is "ball." Tonight, he said he wanted to spell "football." I asked him what it sounded like it began with and he correctly said "F." He even guessed the "oo" part correctly since one of his favorite words to spell this week has been "books." The "t" was a no-brainer at the end. At first he had "foot ball" spelled out on the fridge, but he changed it to "football" saying "I need to take the space out because it is just one word." He has entire books memorized and recognizes words in print that neither Allison nor I can remember specifically pointing out or teaching him. He has become an independent learner, driven by curiosity and a remarkably consistent deductive ability.

We learned about his independent application of ideas one afternoon on the way home from work (Allison and the boys pick me up most days). Allison and I were talking in the front seat when T's voice piped up from the back "That bus says four hundred and twelve, huh?" Sure enough, bus 412 has just passed us on the left. During the rest of the ride home, Allison wrote down more random three-digit numbers (I was driving, don't worry) for him and he got them all right. Again, Allison and I haven't really set out to teach him his numbers beyond 20, but he has put all of our discussions together into a working knowledge of the way they're arranged. The next natural step was thousands. He identifies most 4-digit numbers correctly, saying them in his own charming way, like this: "Four thousands, seven hundreds, and twenty-six." To me, it's all the more remarkable because Tobin has learned numbers because he wants to. His intellectual curiosity matches his interest in shooting hoops or romping around in the yard. In a different way from the awe I feel at Evan, Tobin's integration of his role as big brother and his wholehearted pursuit of his curiosity awe me as well.

As this lengthy post (and probably embarrassingly gushing tone) attests, my boys mean the world to me. I appreciate all of you and what you have done for them directly and through Allison and me. I'll try to find more time to post and share with you, because ours is often a little house bursting with joy. But now is time for me to go to bed; I've probably got a football game and spelling-story time ahead of me tomorrow.

Our "two" month old

Today I took both boys to the pediatrician's office by myself (We couldn't get an appointment time late enough in the day for Matt to make it. Boo.) for Evan's two-month well child visit. I rather dreaded this outing, wondering how I would keep Tobin from touching germy surfaces while tending to Evan. I am by no means a germaphobe, except when it comes to the doctor's office. Tobin is a very obedient, well-behaved child but I think any three year old has trouble complying with commands like "DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!"

Tobin did great. He only dropped his airplane on the floor once. And he also did a fine job entertaining himself so I could talk to the doctor. He interrupted me only twice while the doctor was doing her exam: once to ask me to finish the book I'd been reading before she came in (cute!) and then to ask why Evan was crying (sniff!).

I suppose people might be more interested in how Evan did during the appointment. Well, he did a fine job himself. While he was obviously a little scared by the strange experience that was the exam, and didn't coo and smile much at the doctor, he fussed very little. My sweet baby did wail after his shots, but calmed down within a couple of minutes after a little snuggling with Mama. Tough little guy.

And most importantly, he continues to thrive physically. I don't think even I was prepared for these numbers: he weighs 15 pounds, 6 ounces! Um, his weight is a whole pound more than his big brother at this age, and his brother was by all measures a gigantic infant too. Evan gained three pounds in his second month! His length was 23.5 inches and his head circumference, 16.5 inches. I'm thrilled, if not feeling a little soreness in my arms and back now that I know exactly how big he is. And I suppose it was prescient of me to pull all of our 6-9M clothes out of storage this morning. Indeed he's sleeping in a six-month sleeper right now--my sweet little two month old.

No hablo

One day last week when the boys and I were taking our morning walk, Tobin found a small stick that he would wave like a fan in front of him to "block the cars from hitting us." While waving the stick, he accidentally hit my hand and immediately said "Sorry Mama." I said "That's okay, it was an accident." Tobin tentatively asked "Are you going to tell Daddy I accidentally hit you with the stick?" I was a bit thrown off by this question because he'd never ask me if I were going to tattle on him to Matt. (Apparently, Matt is the heavy around here. Ha! No seriously, that might actually be true!) I was curious, so I inquired "Do you think I should tell Daddy?" T responded "No, because I don't tell accidents." And then without missing a beat, he said "And I don't tell Spanish either." I must of looked confused, because he then explained "That means I don't speak Spanish very well."

Efficient gratitude

Tobin, saying the blessing before supper the other night: "Dear God, thank you for a lot of fun. In Jesus' name, Amen."

Rhetorical question

Matt [holding and admiring Evan]: "Tobin, how did I get the two most handsome boys in the whole world?"

Tobin: "Mama just had us."

Week in review

Last Monday marked Matt's return to work. Sigh. I am doing my best not to mourn the end of a truly wonderful summer as much as I celebrate the fact that I am not returning to work. No child care to fret about. No new job to adjust to. (No breast pump and bottles to manage!) While taking care of the boys on my own is challenging, it is the "work" I am so grateful to be doing right now.

So how did the first week go? Oh, we had a few tough moments. Monday was probably the hardest day. I got up early (6am) to make sure I got a shower (and maybe breakfast . . . well not quite because both boys were up by 6:30) before Matt left. When Tobin's post-lunch nap time rolled around, Evan wanted to be up while I tried to lay down with Tobin to start his nap, and well, the big boy slept for only about 7 minutes. But after that things went relatively well; I even made homemade macaroni and cheese and veggie burgers for supper. At the end of the day, everyone was exhausted--including Tobin who fell asleep so easily--and I realized I had done nothing except tend to two boys for 14 hours straight: no reading, no checking the Internet, very little housework.

The rest of the week nap time continued to be my most difficult time of the day, because I was hoping I could get both boys down at the same time. Tobin missed another nap on Wednesday. But then I realized that really things were much easier if just one of them was napping, usually Evan because he still takes numerous naps throughout the day. On Tuesday, for example, I was able to chop most of the veggies for our pasta primavera supper while Tobin napped and Evan cooed at me from his bouncy chair. When Evan napped I tried my best to do some activity with Tobin, like drawing, reading, or doing puzzles. Tobin also did a great job playing independently when I needed him to. I was kind of worried about how that would go since he's had Daddy home to entertain him the last couple months.

While I'm obsessing about napping, I might as well note that toward the end of this week it seemed Evan's sleeping started developing more of a recognizable pattern. For the last three days, he has taken a very long (3 hours) midday nap and for the last four nights, he has gone down for the night around 8pm, which is also Tobin's bedtime. Evan still cat naps in the morning and afternoon/early evening--even catching a little snooze around 6pm--but I'm hoping that this routine of the last few days will stick. Evan has also seemed less fussy in the couple of hours leading up to bedtime. That's another reason his 8pm bedtime is so nice right now, because he tended to fuss as late as 10pm. He remains a good sleeper at night, waking once or twice to eat usually and then going right back to sleep in his bassinet beside our bed.

Meanwhile, another good sleep development in our household is that Tobin started putting himself to sleep this week. We're so proud of him. He's come a really long way, considering that just three months ago he would only let me put him to sleep and came to our bed in the middle of the night. Gradually, Matt and I took turns lying with him while he fell asleep and, a few weeks after Evan was born, Matt took over entirely. Matt worked really well with T, using an incentive chart like we did with potty training to encourage him to go to sleep without him in the room. So far he's collected two new cars and is due for a third very soon. Tobin still needs Matt to sleep with him when he wakes at night, but at least he's in his own room while I have Evan in our room. The eventual goal of course is both boys in one room and Mama and Daddy in the other--all night. We can dream, can't we?

Another part of our routine this week that went well was picking Matt up from work. Over the summer, we sold our Element so that we would no longer have a car note. Matt gets a ride to work with one of his co-workers who lives nearby and then the boys and I pick him up in the Civic in the afternoon. Since Riverside is a good 12 miles from our home, the result is about an hour-long trip in the car. This is fine, even fun, for Tobin, but I was not so sure how it would go for Evan who had previously expressed great displeasure (loud, pitiful crying) with the car. But Evan did just fine; he didn't even fuss at traffic lights. This is another trend I hope continues, because we travel a lot in the car. Hopefully, his fear of the car was just a developmental thing that he is growing out of--much like the evening fussiness.

So overall the week went well. Matt only had workdays this week, so his hours were a little shorter, which allowed us to ease into this transition. I'm doing my best to keep my to-do list short. As long as the boys are rested, fed, and mostly happy, I'll feel good about each day. I love to cook, but I'm trying to take it easy when it comes to preparing meals, like I have all summer, and have several quick options (quesadillas, salad, veggie burgers) that either Matt or I could fix. And other than our afternoon trips to pick up Matt, I'm trying to avoid getting out in the car too much. We take walks in the neighborhood and Evan and I watch Tobin play, usually golf, in the yard. For now, I want to stick close to home while Evan works out his sleeping patterns, the weather remains uncomfortably warm, and I'm still new at handling all of this. Eventually, we'll take regular trips to the library, museum, and playground. Who knows, I might even join a playgroup!

I'm sure we'll have more stories to tell as this adventure unfolds. Next up: Evan turns two months! Although the days are long, the weeks are flying by. I can't even believe he's eight weeks old today.